Paul Walsh, the Irish Opportunist

Dear Charles Dunstone,

CC: pressoffice@cpw.co.uk

Do you have a personal crusade against me?

Last week I reported that your scandalous credit control department called me and asked for my credit card details. The department manager (AKA pig) agreed to give me 7 days to get into a retail store to pay the bill, as your stupid billing system is the only one in the UK that’s unable to accept my Irish company credit card (even though my bank has confirmed it has authorized it on every occasion). Hence why my payment was late.

During my heart warming conversation with the pig, he kindly enough informed me that I’d receive legal proceedings if I didn’t pay within 7 days. What a nice guy, I mean, pig. The very next day I received a letter from a debt collector asking for prompt payment. They were kind enough to add their charges too. So generous of them.

I really don’t have the time to play games with your stupid company, so I decided to call one of your monkeys and pay with my personal credit card. Normally, I’d just call and pay. However, I’ve been spring cleaning my desk and was in the mood to go through everything with a fine comb. Given that I canceled my account, received a PAC code from you and opened up a new account with O2 direct in August, you’ll understand (actually you probably won’t) my amazement when I noticed a bill for the month of October.

I’ve been told that my account hasn’t actually been canceled ‘for some strange reason’. I’m now awaiting a call from one of your monkeys to explain why I’m still glued to your ugly brand.

Can you please call off the dogs, cancel my account and jump off the nearest cliff.

Thanks and warm regards,

Your loving customer, Paul
xxx