What have you done to get a job?
March 23, 2008 //
I asked the Twitter community what their favourite search engine of all time was earlier. After having a great conversation with a few people, I got thinking about my days at AOL and companies that came and went before that.
The purpose of this post is to find out what you did, which you may not have shared with lots of people, to get a job. Before I move onto what lies I’ve told, I might as well give you a little background so you get to learn a little more about me. Skip to the end if what you already know about me is more than enough.
I’ve done just about every job presented to me; sandwich board advertising (me inside one!), washing dishes in an Indian restaurant, collecting shopping trollies, store man, potato/strawberry picking, bar tending, office junior, hotel work and so on.
I wasn’t good enough academically to get into university to study architecture, so I ended up working in a bar, something I really loved because for me, it was all about people. What became apparent from a very early age was that, not only did I always want to be the best that I could be, I always wanted to be the best at what I did, irrespective of what job I did. (I don’t expect everyone to want to be the best. I do hope however, that people strive to be the best that they can be)
I realised that working in a bar, or even running my own chain of bars in the future (that was my goal at the time), wasn’t what I wanted to do longterm. So, after managing a cocktail bar in Greece during the summery of 1993, I returned to Dublin adamant that I’d get a job in an office. I didn’t know what I was going to do, I just knew it would have something to do with computers, because it would be 9 to 5 (cough) and I was pretty handy with computers at school.
I quickly got a two week job helping a company to clear out an office. Like I said, I always did my best and it was always ‘about people’. So, they liked me enough to give me one of their old (286) computers. It didn’t even have an operating system so I sold it and put the money against the hire purchase of a brand spanking new 386 computer with a whacking 4MB of RAM. It was state of the art. I guess that was a big risk at the time because I had very little money and the computer was extremely expensive (for me anyway). I was getting myself into debt on the assumption I’d be able to pay it off later when my investment paid off. I did actually think of the purchase as an investment. Without it, I couldn’t progress.
The first thing I did was learn how to type. I purposely made it more difficult by using my girlfriend’s manual typewriter. I knew it would significantly improve my skills on a computer keyboard when it came to typing tests. I used the same books that secretaries use and within a few months I was speed typing about 120 words per minute and ready to hit the agencies for office junior positions.
Whilst all of this was going on, I must have received hundreds (literally) of ‘thanks but no thanks’ letters. Almost every company in Dublin received an application from me. I was on social welfare and living in a flat I wouldn’t give to a stray dog. I used to find slug trails on the bedroom carpet and I used cling film across the windows to block the wind.
Bending it like David Beckham
I was tired of companies expecting high grades at school, so I told lies to land my first job working for an insurance company. Life was back on track until they asked for proof of my exams two weeks into the job. My forgery skills were never great at school when I tried my parents signatures, so I wasn’t taking any chances in the real world. So, I pretended to be sick and never returned.
Balls in a wheelbarrow
I got my lucky break when the lies I told about my experience gained by working for a great insurance company (see above), amongst other things, landed me the position as Computer Operator at Bank National De Paris in Dublin.
I must have carried my balls in a wheelbarrow on the day of the interview. The role included managing the entire bank’s computer mainframe, backing up the dealer room conversations each day, transferring the daily interest rates between Paris and Dublin and supporting 12 Programmer Analysts’ in their file backup and restore procedures for the rest of BNP’s branches throughout Europe. Remember, I had no experience and no qualifications. Mistakes were made, but thankfully they weren’t too serious. As far as I was concerned I could learn on the job. And I did.
That was the last time I told a lie about my experience or qualifications. I ended up moving to another bank before joining AOL as a startup in 1995.
How did you bend the truth to land a job?
Gerald Wiggins says 
marco goldschmied says 
Sharon Crossley says 
I don’t think I’ve bent the truth to land a job, apart from being overly optimistic in an interview about my ability to do certain things. (Thinking about it, I’ve only ever interviewed for three jobs. The rest were offered to me by people who knew my work.)
But the bit about how underqualified you were for the bank job did remind me of going to work for Swiss Life’s e-commerce incubator back in 2001.
My friend John Diamond (the late journalist) had encouraged me to pursue a career as a writer and editor. I had next to no confidence in my abilities; he did, and was a big booster when I don’t think I deserved one.
John moderated an online form for journos called Fleet Street (it’s still around), and pointed out an editing job that a headhunter had posted for an editor. I had just become legal to work in the UK, so sent my CV off and told myself it all counted as practice. When the recruiter rang me a half hour after I’d sent the email, telling me that the company loved the look of me and wanted an interview immediately, I was shocked.
The job was as the Web Content Editor of a b2b e-commerce site in three languages. I emailed the spec to a friend, Lisa Schmeiser, who was senior editor of macworld.com. She broke down the spec for me into excruciating, terrifying detail. Her email ended with a note reading something along the lines of, "Obviously this is all well within your grasp." She meant it, which would have made me laugh if I hadn’t been bricking it.
I tried to cancel the interview. I called the recruiter and left a message saying that I didn’t want to waste the company’s time. (I also didn’t want to waste the £50 on the train ticket down to Sevenoaks, since I was living on a little freelance work and my then-husband’s generosity at that point.)
The recruiter’s manager called me back and begged me to take the interview. She promised that they loved the look of me and that it was a great company to work for. I felt so bad that I relented, went for the interview, and was offered the job that day.
I was 23 years old, making twice as much money as my high-powered dad in the US, and absolutely sure I couldn’t do any of it. In the end, it was so easy that I was bored.
The whole experience made me certain that, often, we can do so much more than what we expect of ourselves - and what others will allow us the chance to do. When someone (or multiple someones) are willing to take a risk on us, we should show enough commitment to try our best in the face of all self-doubt.
Thanks, Paul. I needed a reminder of all that.
March 23rd, 2008
Did not… Was unemployed for 3 years because of it until I got lucky.
My CV is still awful, I’m not too good with bending things.
I wish I was, sometimes.
March 23rd, 2008
@Jackie that was a lovely story. We’re only limited by our own imagination
March 25th, 2008